Witch Hazel
When this hemorrhoid
is finally vanquished,
it won’t be
the pain,
the blood,
the itchiness,
the dryness,
the insomnia,
or the weird prickly sensations in my thighs and dick
that I’ll be
glad are gone:
Even though it
soothes me,
I’ll be glad
to never have
to bear the
stench of using
Witch Hazel hemorrhoid pads
ever again.
GARRET SCHUELKE is a writer, podcaster, and musician that currently resides in Grand
Rapids, Michigan. He is the author of the GODAN series (Bakunin Incorporated), Anamakee
(Riot Forge Studios, 2016), Whup Jamboree: Stories (Elmblad Media Group, 2017), and three
ebooks.